This is what you should know before getting married, according to Reddit Users 



It’s easy to get caught up in all the excitement of a wedding.

It’s a day of love, with your nearest and dearest, where you get to wear a dress of dreams or a snappy suit, drink bubbles and celebrate your relationship but, just as a puppy isn’t only for Christmas, a wedding isn’t just a party.

On the other side of the celebration is hard work - often the good kind but nonetheless hard. It’s a commitment that you’ll need to work on as life throws curveballs and you both develop as people.

In a new thread, the ever-honest users of Reddit were asked what people should know before getting hitched. Here’s what they had to say...

"Your SO most likely fell in love with the best and strongest version of you. When you get married, make sure that your SO will still love you when you're down. It's a lifetime. Hard times will come. This goes both ways." - ThrowAwayVenting2018

"When my grandfather asked my grandmother to marry him, her father made them both sit down and write a list of 10 deal breakers. They then had to discuss them all to decide if they could both live with them before he would give his blessing. In over 50 yrs of marriage neither one crossed the deal breaker line and they had a head start on open communication channels from the experience. The other thing they did was to ensure that each of them got at least one hour of me time every day from Monday to Friday (the other would watch the kids and there would be no chores done during that time) and weekends were family time." - GrumpyKitten1

"If you're prone to loneliness, make sure you're not just trying to seal the deal to end feeling lonely. You can still be lonely in a bad relationship. Make sure you emphasize each other's happiness, not need it to function." - recovering-juggalo

"That people often change throughout their lives, but not just because they got married. Many people get married with either the expectation that marriage will change their SO or that the person will stay the same forever. Neither are correct. People will change, but not always in the ways that you expect and you have to be willing to adapt to them." - Tazi750000

"Pretend you aren't going to have a wedding. Still wanna get married?" - CaptainClay2606

"When you fight, remember that you two are on the same side.Sometimes it'll feel like it's you versus her... whenever it feels like that, Stop. Back up. Figure out how it's you both versus the world (or you both versus the fear they're feeling, or you both versus the problems you're having or whatever...) and not the two of you against each other. Hell, try to remember that when you're not fighting too." - Allisade

"Some days your SO is vomiting their guts out and literally cannot do any chores or emotional work. Their job is to empty their guts and moan into the toilet about how terrible life is while you fetch water and crackers and keep the rest of the house in line." - Daitoshi

"A cliche bit of marriage advice is “it’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100”. Both parties need to be trying their best every day, because some days it’ll be 50/50, sometimes 75/25, and on the rare occasion, 100/0. Point being, not only can you not depend on 50/50, sometimes you’ll be doing all the work, but also, sometimes you get to be a total dumpster fire and have someone pick up your slack without even needing to ask. Recognizing that from the beginning makes it a lot easier to give 100% as often as possible." - EnsignRedShirt

"If you respect your partner, you'll communicate well with them. If you communicate well with your partner, you will end up respecting them. You can't treat someone as a valued equal and not respect and value them. The third part of the equation is trust. You lack one of these three things, you lack the other two." - Kunabee

"You should know that while you think you might be communicating well, you can always do better. What I mean by that is that relationships take rigorous honesty and compassion." - scoal64

"This is it. I have a family of four. Me, my wife, and our two kids. We love our extended families, but they are peripheral. My bond with my wife and my children is MUCH stronger than my bond with my parents and my siblings (and, frankly, my bond with my wife is a tiny bit stronger than my bond with my kids). If there's a conflict between what my parents want and what my wife wants, there's no conflict, just a bit of emotional labour as I explain to my parents that we're not doing the thing they prefer. Not everyone sees things this way. I can't imagine seeing it any differently. But I would make sure you have similar views about family relationship pecking orders before getting married." - letransient

"Don’t lose your individualism. My best friend recently got divorced and discovered that he didn’t even know what he liked to do anymore. The person you’re going to marry fell in love with YOU. Don’t lose that. It’s okay to have different hobbies/interests." - DirtyWalnuts

"You should have the “big” discussions before you get married and have kids, e.g. if you do have kids are you both on the same page regarding potential issues that may occur during the pregnancy, are you both willing to parent a very poorly child? What about if one of your parents becomes ill or dies what do you expect to do then, will the surviving parent come and live with you etc. What about the big holidays how will you spend them and whose family will you spend them with. If you don’t agree on these things now, you won’t after you get married and then you are stuck in a more difficult position." - Lennial

"Most people don't realize how much stress each other's families bring to the table. Always be a united front." - AmandaBee8

"It's work, and it's everyday work. If you want a healthy relationship you need to tend to that relationship." - SCFE1

Article Source: https://www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/this-is-what-you-should-know-about-getting-married-according-to-reddit-users-a3840461.html
Image Source: http://laughlinchamber.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/gettingmarried.jpg

VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Curveball (n.) ~ something which is unexpected, surprising, or disruptive
2. Get hitch (idiom) ~ marry
3. Dealbreaker (n.) ~ (in business and politics) a factor or issue that, if unresolved during negotiations, would cause one party to withdraw from a deal
4. Cliche (n.) ~ a very predictable or unoriginal thing or person
5. Pick up the slack (idiom) ~ to improve a situation by doing something that someone else has not done or not completed
6. Rigorous (adj.) ~ extremely thorough, exhaustive, or accurate
7. Peripheral (adj.) ~ of secondary or minor importance marginal
8. Pecking order (n.) ~ a hierarchy of status seen among members of a group of people or animals, originally as observed among hens

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. For married students: What was your motivation for getting married?
For unmarried students: What factors would you consider before deciding to get hitched?
2. Which of the above given suggestions do you agree? Please discuss them briefly.
3. What is your own advice regarding marriage?