Why children needyour presence more than your presents

Itis no secret that children love new toys. They love Christmas and birthdaysbecause of the multitude of gifts they receive. However, the mostimportant gift any child could receive is the continual presence of his parentsin his life. As a parent, giving your time, energy and love to your child isone of the most important things you can do.

Asa young teenager, I never understood how blessed I was to have such involvedand loving parents. All I wanted were the latest clothes and gadgets, but I hadan experience that still haunts me to this day.

Iwas in middle school and hit that awkward phase with the new glasses and bracesto prove it. I thought that if I could get new clothes, the latest technology,cool backpack, whatever it might be, that it would help me feel better aboutmyself. I pitched one of those teenage girl tantrums to myparents, crying and being emotional. I remember running to my room and throwingmyself on my bed, crying and wishing my parents would just comply with mywishes.

I’llnever forget what happened. My dad came into my room, sat on my bed andexplained that money won’t make a difference. Even if he could afford to buy mea new wardrobe, it wouldn’t be enough. I was still mad and upset and thought hewas wrong. Come to find out, I was the one who was wrong.

Itdidn’t matter whether I had the newest and most expensive gadgets or clothes. Ihad parents who took an active role in my life. My Dad, even though he workedlong, full days, was diligent and frequently took me and my sisters onDaddy-Daughter dates. My mom was always present at our extracurricular events,would sit next to us as we practiced the piano and would always help us withour homework. I grew up knowing that my parents loved me, cared about me andwanted what was best for me. They didn’t have to buy me expensive toys to winmy love they did it through their actions.

Thereare individuals who experience the best of the best while growing up. Theyreceive all the latest toys, the new cars, the latest gadgets, yet theirparents are rarely home. Their parents don’t bother trying to establish a closerelationship. Instead, they try to buy their child’s love. As their childrengrow up, they don’t have a close-knit relationship. In fact, they rarelyspeak. Unfortunately, these children learn to grow up without the help of theirparents, and now they don’t need their family unless it is for financial means.

Therelationship between parents and children is established at a very young age.Children learn to rely on their parents for everything from changing theirdiapers to feeding them each meal. Even though parents may work full-time awayfrom the home, they can still be present in their child’s life. They can stilldo all they can to develop a strong relationship with their child based on loveand understanding. Here are a few reasons why presence is more important in yourchild’s life than the latest and greatest present.

Children need your example

Achild’s first school is the home. This is the place where children learn basicskills such as how to speak, walk, use the toilet, hold a fork, etc. Childrenlearn these skills from watching others. Parents set an example to children. Ifa child sees a parent performing a certain task, the child feels it is also OKto do it. When you are present in your child’s life, you help shape your childinto the person you know he can become. Children look up to you their entirelives and your actions speak much louder than any amount of money. Show yourchildren, by your example and your actions, that you want what is best forthem.

Children need your physical touch

When children fall andhurt themselves, or they are sick, there is nothing like a kiss from their momor a snuggle from their dad. Physical touch is a powerful thing.Consider the importance of skin-to-skin contact with newborns right afterbirth. The physical touch of the mother right after birth provides manyphysical and mental benefits for the child. A few benefits of skin-to-skincontact include an increase inthe baby’s brain development, breastfeeding encouragement and protectionagainst feelings of separation.

Physicaltouch isn’t just something that affects newborns. It has a lasting effect, evenas adults. Take the time to snuggle your children, let them sit on your lapwhile you read them stories and give them hugs before bed each night, etc.

Involvement helps build a child’sself-esteem

Whenyou are involved in your child’s life, you help him gain confidence and buildup his self-esteem. When parents make it a priority to attend a child’schoir concert or basketball game or even make sure her homework is complete, itbrings feelings of security and love to a child. This is important to a child’smental health. When these feelings do not exist, the child is more likely to beinsecure and have feelings of low self-worth.

A strong relationship builds achild’s communication skills

Whenparents are present in a child’s life, they spend more time talking to thechild. Whereas, when a child is just given a gift, they are usually bythemselves for an extended period of time. Communication with parents isessential for establishing critical skills. Vocabulary, grammar and even basicsocializing skills can all be learned through constant communication between achild and a parent.

Atfirst, presents may seem like a great way to win your child’s love but theywill never take the place of being present. Children grow up too quickly. Don’tlet their childhood slip by without being involved and letting your actionsshow your child how much you care.

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VOCABULARYWORDS:

1. Multitude (n.) ~ a very great number 

2. Pitch (v./ informal) ~ to attempt to promote or sell  

3. Tantrum (n.) ~ a fit of bad temper  

4. Close-knit (adj.) ~ closely united  

5. Snuggle (v.) ~ to curl up closely or comfortably  

6. Self-esteem (n.) ~ pride on oneself

QUESTIONSFOR DISCUSSION:  

1. What do you think is the usual reasons why parents don’t spendmuch time with their children? 

2. Do you think you spend enough time with your children? Why? 

3. According to the article, what are the benefits of parentsspending time with their children? 

4. Give suggestions on how parents can still spend enough time withtheir children even though they are busy at work.